


Forgive To Be Able To Love Again

by Krambi003



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5945554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krambi003/pseuds/Krambi003
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Tears threatened to roll down but Yoh held them back as he did for the screams in his throat. Nobody, not even the man tearing him apart at this very moment, would ever know of the pain he was feeling now.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive To Be Able To Love Again

_ Forgive to be able to love again _

 

 

** Disclaimer : ** VF and its yummy guys belong to Yamane Ayano 

 

**Characters :** Fei Long, Yoh

 

** Rating : ** NC-17 (smex)

 

** Warnings : ** Unbeta'ed, rough sex

 

 

** ~*~*~*~*~ **

 

 

_Hot water was running down along his muscles and it felt good after such a long and hot day. _

 

_"I did not know you were into big boobs..." _

 

_Though he perfectly heard Fei Long's remark, Yoh kept on showering as if nothing had been said. _

 

_As usual they were the last ones to shower, once the others were already back in their cells. Yoh went through Hell to obtain them this preferential treatment from the prison governor, but Fei Long was too much of an easy target in this room and he did not want to have to save him again and again from the assassins sent by the number 3 in Baishe. And Asami's orders were clear: Fei Long had to stay alive. _

 

_ And even now, after all this time and Fei Long already on his way to the top, erasing from inside the jail, with just one simple order to Yoh, every member of the organization, who did not want to submit, and being now the one to be feared, they remained the last ones to shower in this very room, unending reminder of their first encounter…. Just the two of them showering, most of the time silently, like a reassuring ritual, comforting the bond between these two lonely men. A bond, Fei Long would never acknowledge as anything else than a useful relationship for his quest, though he was the one, who, from times to times, felt the urge to break their silence. Quite always did he talk about business, but at some rare times he got more emotional. And though he now seemed to have locked himself up inside for good, yesterday, for the third time he had laid his hands on Yoh. _

 

_ Each year, on the same day…Asami did not tell Yoh more than what he had thought necessary for him to know to fulfil his mission, but it had been easy for Yoh to guess what could have happened on this very day of the year to affect the cold Dragon that much, awakening in his veins a disturbing fire, which made him behave like that. _

 

_Fei Long took one step closer to Yoh and asked coldly. _

 

_"Are those whores on paper the reason for some of the ‘strange’ sounds that come from your bed sometimes at night?" _

 

_Whatever his reasons to focus on this were, it was more than clear that the young man did not plan to stop talking about what he had discovered, so Yoh turned around and answered bluntly. _

 

_"Chicks are like cigarettes or drug… They are useful here." _

 

_The look on the Dragon’s face showed how much he did not believe in this assertion. Yoh added then. _

 

_"It seems that some of the guys here are more into plump and round buttocks of girls than into firm muscled asses of guys…" _

 

_Fei Long frowned to this while Yoh kept on talking. _

 

_"I am not judging any of them. I am only making business to gain us what we could need. If they want big breasts, I will give them big breasts and if they want…" _

 

_"… your ass, you will give it to them, right?" _

 

_ The despise tainted with disgust in Fei Long’s voice cuts in Yoh’s chest even more than the idea. Damn Dragon, so unaware of everything and everyone that was not him and his own problems and needs. Though Yoh was now used to deal with this selfish attitude of the young master, today was a day he felt already nervous enough not to have to endure this. Last week, they had learned that Fei Long would be released on the next Monday and Yoh still got no sign that he would also be free, as if Asami did not get his message. He also had yet no guarantee that the bond he had patiently built with Fei Long the last three years would help him have a place in Fei Long’s business, when they will both be out of here, so that he could at least fulfil his mission.  _

 

_ "Anyway. I don’t want those cheap porn pictures in **_my_** cell. Get rid of them." _

 

_Fei Long’s order cut Yoh in his thoughts and he smiled bitterly inside to this ‘ ** _my_** cell’. He never knew which string Asami had pulled, when he had asked him to make it easier for him to watch over Fei Long by letting them share the same cell, but soon after he had asked for it, Fei Long stood in the doorway of his cell, and after looking around, walked in as if he owned the place and even stated that he would sleep in the bed on the left side, which was until then Yoh’s bed, while he sat on it not waiting for any approbation. So many hours, days, weeks and months spent together in their cell and Fei Long still acted sometimes as if Yoh was just a piece of furniture of his cell. This ‘my cell’ made Yoh even more insecure about the bond he thought that existed now between them. Did he failed that much to create it? Will he be history for Fei Long as soon as the Dragon would have walked out of their cell the next Monday? _

 

_Yoh suddenly turned off the water and walked out of the room without a single look to Fei Long. He stormed into their cell and reached for the porn magazines and changed their hiding place before dressing up. When Fei Long walked in some minutes later, he went straight to where he saw the magazines before and when he did not see them in here anymore, he said victory tainting his voice. _

 

_"Good. So tonight nothing will disrupt my sleep." _

 

_Fei Long did not bother to ask Yoh how he got rid of the magazines so quickly, he was satisfied enough with the fact that Yoh complied. _

 

_ Since that day, Yoh had remained more silent than usual, what was not easy to notice since the man already talked so little, and with each passing hour Fei Long felt more and more uncomfortable without being able to know the reason why. _

 

 

** ~*~*~*~*~ **

 

 

_Fei Long laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling of their cell, feeling a bit nervous about the fact that this so long awaited day would finally come tomorrow morning and that he would have to face the reality of his new life all alone. He will be free but Yoh will not. When Fei Long had realised this, he had felt betrayed, though he knew perfectly that it was not Yoh’s fault. But still, Yoh should have been following him everywhere like he did for the past three years. This was how things were and had to be. But Yoh would stay inside for a while more… _

 

_Fei Long turned his head to the left but could only see Yoh’s back. Yoh was lying on his bed, breathing slowly as if he was already asleep. The moon was so bright and high in the sky, that it was easy to see a large part of their cell. Fei Long sat in his bed and kept on observing this broad back he knew so well for a long time, before breaking the silence. _

 

_"I don’t feel like sleeping tonight." _

 

_ To pretend he did not hear Fei Long’s words would bring nothing good, so Yoh slowly turned around and sat on the edge of his bed, silently waiting one last time for whatever Fei Long wanted, but Fei Long turned his face towards the window. They remained like this for a long time, Fei Long looking at the moon through the bars of the window and Yoh observing him. _

 

_Fei Long finally stood up and walked to the wall under the window and stopped right under it. _

 

_"Come here." _

 

_Yoh stood up and walked to him. As soon as he was near enough, Fei Long grabbed his arm and pushed Yoh till his back hit the wall. _

 

_"Turn around." _

 

_Yoh complied once more and as always without a single trace of emotion on his face, though he already knew what to expect as soon as he will show his back to Fei Long, and he was really ** _not_** looking forward to it at all. _

 

_ Since the night was so warm none of them wore a shirt and this made it just easier for Fei Long to breathe in the musky scent of Yoh’s skin, when he pulled his pants down, but to his own surprise this smell, he already knew by heart, drove an unexpectedly wild fire in his veins tonight. Fei Long felt his manhood hardening like never before and without even taking some time to prepare Yoh, he placed his two hands on the firm butt and his thick shaft against the ring of muscles and thrust to the hilt in one go, letting a low groan out. Yoh bit his lips to prevent any loud sound to escape his throat and tried to focus on his hands clenching to the wall to help his legs support him while the young Dragon was ramming madly inside of him, ravaging him more badly than he ever did. Even the first time under the shower had been a soft experience comparing to this one.  _

 

_Yoh bit his lips to blood while hoping for this torture to end soon, and tried to keep on standing, leaning his forearms against the wall. Just when he thought he got somewhat used to the pain racing in his body, Fei Long quickened his pace and stabbed even harder in him. Tears threatened to roll down but Yoh held them back as he did for the screams in his throat. Nobody, not even the man tearing him apart at this very moment, would ever know of the pain he was feeling now. He had shown no weakness in front of Fei Long for the last three years knowing such strength was something the cold Dragon valued and he would certainly not let this last night ruin all his efforts. Yoh breathed hardly through clenched teeth and waited for the other to come, every second hoping and praying that it would happen on the next one. Yoh finally heard a satisfied groan and felt the tight grip on his hips letting go. Yoh remained standing in front of the wall, leaning on his arms and trying to catch his breath and find a way for his mind to stop the pain in his body. Fei Long pulled up his pants and went back to his bed where he sat down. _

 

_ Only when he turned his head to the window he noticed that Yoh was still standing there and Fei Long could not help but gasp, when he saw his seed mixed with so much blood running down along Yoh’s legs. This made him realise that he really overdid it this time. He had tried, but in vain, to restrain the wild fire rushing in his whole body tonight. Yoh should have stopped him. No, of course Yoh would not have stopped him. Yoh never would have, he was not the type to beg for mercy. This was one of the things Fei Long liked in this man, one of the many reasons he had kept him by his side for the last three years. Tomorrow he will be out of here for good. What a horrible way to part, but Fei Long knew he was too proud to apologize to Yoh, so he just closed his eyes… _

 

 

** ~*~*~*~*~ **

 

 

Yoh feels the muscles under his palm tense and knows that Fei Long cannot find sleep.

 

" ‘nightmare?" 

 

The sleepy voice of Yoh brought Fei Long back to reality.

 

"I am no child."

 

"As if only children were having nightmares" chuckles Yoh.

 

He tightens his embrace and lifts up Fei Long’s chin with his right hand and then softly orders.

 

"Tell me."

 

"No… anyway you probably forgot about that night and if not you surely do not want to be reminded of it."

 

Yoh frowned to this. He knew perfectly what Fei Long meant with this ‘that night’. It had been bothering his beloved Dragon for so long now and there had been so many nights, when he had had to calm him down because of this.

 

"Tonight I want you to tell me what is really bothering you about that night. We all make mistakes and I already told you, that you are forgiven, so…"

 

"That!! How?! How would you forget so easily?!"

 

Yoh leaned on the soft lips and kissed them tenderly. He then looked in the tormented purple orbs and whispered.

 

"I did not forget any of our moments of the last 7 years and I do not plan to. I told you countless times that you are forgiven, but I never said it was forgotten."

 

"But… but if you had done that to me… I would never have forgiven you ! How can you not be bothered about that?!"

 

"I am bothered and I always will be…" "

 

I knew it."

 

"… as long as **_you_** will not have forgiven yourself."

 

Fei Long looks at Yoh’s face. The tender smile he has come to love is still printed on Yoh’s lips and the glint of love in his eyes shines as bright as ever. Fei Long mashes his mouth on Yoh’s, wanting to forget, but knowing it will never happen. Breaking the kiss, Fei Long snuggles closer to Yoh’s heart and whispers more to himself than to Yoh.

 

"If only it had never happened, it w…"

 

Yoh presses his forefinger on the perfect lips and firmly states.

 

"I would not change a single thing in our past even if I could. All we shared and faced made us the way we are now. And I could not wish for anything better than what I have now with you and Tao."

 

Silence falls on the bed. Yoh caresses and softly kisses the black silk of Fei Long’s hair, waiting for him to finally find sleep. But after hearing Yoh’s feelings about their past and present, Fei Long does not feel like sleeping at all tonight, so he whispers.

 

"Love me."

 

"Didn’t you say that you would be the one in charge next time? Yoh teases him."

 

"I **_am_** the one in charge. That’s why I tell you to love me. **_Now_**!"

 

"Fine with me."

 

Yoh crashes his lips on Fei Long’s and lets his tongue fight with Fei’s while he inserts two fingers in him, knowing that he is still loosened enough for them after their first session of the night. Fei Long breaks their kiss and lust dancing in his eyes, he orders firmly.

 

"You know I can’t be satisfied with only your fingers, so give me what I want. Now."

 

Rolling Fei Long on his back, Yoh leans on him, kisses him roughly and then kneels in between the long legs he spreads wide, and not waiting any longer, he enters slowly the hidden territory only he has the right to conquer….

 

 

 

_ The End _


End file.
